I don’t know if “super tasters” really exist. I vaguely recall reading something about them in an article on wine connoisseurs. But every picky eater in the world must have also read that article, because they’ve all become convinced that they are super tasters too. The rest of us are savages, happily munching on everything that comes our way. Picky eaters, however, taste every bitter and sour note. If you blew a fuse, a super taster could easily locate the flashlight in your pitch-black apartment, assuming that someone had marked a trail to it with lemon juice.
As every superhero knows, super-tasters’ power comes with a curse. When they go out to eat, they can only go to places that serve sublime, subtle tastes. Tastes such as that of plain, baked chicken—unsullied by sauces or spices. People blessed with hypersensitive taste buds can’t brook strong flavors, which includes vegetables, any cuisine from outside the U.S., and tomato sauce with pieces of tomato in it.
I understand why picky eaters want to think they have superpowers. They face a lot of prejudice. People, including myself, associate picky eating with a provincial point of view, a lack of adventuresses. Those who don’t realize that chunky tomato sauce is far superior to the watery kind probably lack good taste in other areas as well, we assume. And so when we go out to dinner with picky eaters, we try to make them try new things. It’s not just that we think we’re opening them up to new tastes; we think we’re opening them up to new ideas, to travel, to excitement, to the world beyond the plain baked piece of chicken.
Well, picky eaters, disabuse us of that notion. Don’t hide behind the mantle of the super taster. Proudly declare yourself a picky eater. And as you are plucking the tomato chunks out of your pizza sauce, make sure to mention your recent hike through the Himalayas. “It’s an amazing experience, attempting to breathe 25,000 feet above sea level,” you’ll say. “How can you be sure you won’t like it until you try it?”
Saturday, December 30, 2006
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6 comments:
A picky eater rebuts:
Are all picky eaters supertasters? Of course not? Do a lot of picky eaters use that excuse? Sure. Myself included, at times, though I doubt it's true.
But can you blame us? People look on picky eating like it's some kind of moral failure. In that climate of extreme discrimination, it's no wonder that many of us cling to a plausible, if only slightly, explanation that might be socially acceptable.
I'm out of the closet now.
You come out of the picky eater closet every other comment: https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=6822387672195266598&postID=5019014120721974712
Don't back down now, Sadie, our time will come to be vindicated.
Like when society collapses and we're all forced into the wilderness, where the only food availble will be wild deer (which will taste remarkably like beef but sadly will not be pre-processed and therefore have "some gristle and fat" and also won't techincally BE beef, making it "gross") and wild berries (which will be nutritious but also "a little bit bitter" and have "a little bit of dirt" on them).
"Supertaster" = "Superwhiner". There, I said it. Dare retaliate and I'll come to your home and make subtle adjustments to your dinner plate so that your meat course is physically touching your vegetables, making both inedible!
I'm one of the world's worst picky eaters. Given how so many people avoid veggies like AIDS, I'd be good for testing genetic-engineered veggies that are de-bittered. As far as the flashlight, try a trail of _green pepper_ juice instead. ANY good supertaster will find it like a narc dog finding dope.
A maddening problem is pizza with one half having green pepper. The bordering slices on the pepper-free side get contaminated with a green pepper overload that'll swamp the sausage taste. Anyone capable of eating stuffed peppers must have no taste buds altogether. Either that or they are malfunctioning.
Another maddening problem is that modern barbecue sauce that tastes like 3/4 honey. It's used nearly everywhere. It's nasty enough that I won't eat it. You may as well use honey straight - and we wonder why there's a honey bee dieoff. Before hearing about it I thought there was a honey glut, what with honey being poured into more and more foods.
By far the most incomprehensible food trend is the nation's growing coffee addiction. People swill down coffee in coffee shops like alcoholics swilling down beer. Then they wonder why they need to take a fistful of Lunesta! I can't wait until 5 years from now when these coffee/Lunesta speedballers get chirrosis of the liver just as good as drunks.
Except for pizza, I hate cheese. So, why would anyone dare put CHEDDAR on a pizza? Then, it's now standard equipment to put cheese on every fast food product. If you order a hamburger they ask if you want cheese. (Didn't they just hear me?) And half the time you get it anyways. Did Congress pass a law making "hamburger" and "cheeseburger" synonyms? (the "burger synonym act")
It's like food is being dumbed down to the denominator of those with the most non-functional taste buds. Eh, it's not like everyones' taste buds need a 3,000 volt jump start, idiots!
I'd love to force down the throat of these idiots a bacon double cheddar green pepper tofuburger with honey-mustard sauce and honey barbecue until they choke on their own vomit. And don't forget a side of steamed broccoli and washed down with unsweetened Turkish coffee - grounds and all.
Well, I AM a super taster; I've sat there and counted out the 71 papillae in that 7mm hole punch. And I'm NOT a picky eater. I love strong spices--cilantro, garlic, cardamom, italian parsley, basil, ginger, coriander, etc. I can also handle hotter (spicy hot not temperature hot) food than the vast majority of Americans, having eaten it all my life. When everyone else has tearing eyes and sweaty, running noses, and is guzzling down water, I'll be that one person sitting there calmly, appreciating the barely noticeable, mild heat.
I also love tomato sauce and chunky tomato sauce, but think raw tomato is pretty disgusting and slimy. I eat plenty of the foods super tasters supposedly avoid: grapefruit (love), green tea, very sweet things (also love), broccoli, cauliflower, dark leafy greens. I only take coffee in cappuccino, mocha, or ice cream-like forms though.
I like all sorts of cuisines--Greek, Turkish, Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Afghanistani, Malaysian, Indian, Mexican, Tex-Mex, Puerto Rican, French, Spanish, Cajun, Pakistani, Korean, and more. I'll eat most of those sauces you think we don't like in the same amount as a medium taster--I'll just be of the opinion it would be improved if it were in a smaller amount. That baked chicken--it's wonderful with curry or lemongrass or soy sauce or any hundreds of combinations of spices. But it's too bad you can't taste and appreciate the delicate flavor the meat has all on its own.
I'm a super taster too! I'm good with most meats and dairy products, but I cannot tolerate most cooked vegetables. Raw they're usually fine or neutral, but cooked they are extremely bitter. I also can't drink coffee or anything carbonated. Coffee again is very bitter and carbonation makes my mouth feel like the flesh is being eaten away. In addition to being a "picky eater" as a child (seriously, if someone had stopped cooking my vegetables it would've been fine), I hated brushing my teeth. It hurt, and like with nasty bitter overcooked vegetables you just assume that everyone else is tough enough to suffer through it and you should too. Fortunately I've since found toothpastes without calcium carbonate, usually labeled for sensitive teeth. So it's a real problem, it can be dealt with, and living with it until finding out what it is can be unpleasant, so have some sympathy!
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