Yet another problem created by children

Michael Moore recently convinced me that, for the good of the nation, it's time for the government to regulate health care. However, I would like to go one step farther, and ask that our representatives in Congress stand up to "big citrus" and start regulating the marketing of summer's signature beverage. Yes, I am talking about lemonade.

Lemonade is a drink made from lemon juice that has been diluted with water and sweetened with sugar. No, carnival workers, it is not powder-drink-mix "lemonade" that has been garnished with half a smashed lemon. No, el Tamarindo, it does not come out of a soda machine. Every other restaurant I come across claims to serve "fresh squeezed," but then gives me some bitter, urine-yellow concoction.

I know where their confusion comes from. I saw the root of the problem just the other day, in Columbia Heights. Some kids had overturned a cardboard box and scrawled "fresh squeezed lemonade, 50 cents" across the front. But were they up all night, squeezing lemons? I think not.

I'd write more, but I think I'm going to try to convince an actual paying publication to let me pen this philippic. So far, I have found only one restaurant in D.C. that has actual lemonade: Regent Thai. If anyone comes across any others, let me know.